Stella Blue

My life with metastatic breast cancer.

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I’ve been asked by several people to explain the name of my blog, so here it is for those of you who are curious. Stella Blue is named after one of my favorite songs. Pretty boring, huh? You probably thought there was a better story behind it. Sorry, turns out I’m not that original — but let me tell you about it anyway. It’s a beautiful and haunting song by my favorite band, the Grateful Dead. Some of you may be surprised to find out I’m a Deadhead, others might not even know what that is, but most of you already know they have been my favorite band since I was about eleven. I have to thank my good friend, Amelia Brown-Belabbas, for introducing me to them. Their music has carried me through many challenging times, none so difficult as this of course, but I am comforted by their tunes once more. I’ve posted the song below in case you’d like to listen to it. I’ve also written out the lyrics, which are especially meaningful to me now. So that’s the story behind Stella Blue, I hope you enjoy the song even if the Grateful Dead are not your style.


Stella Blue
lyrics by Robert Hunter

All the years combine
They melt into a dream
A broken angel sings
From a guitar

In the end there’s just a song
Comes crying up the night
Through all the broken dreams
And vanished years

Stella blue
Stella blue

When all the cards are down
There’s nothing left to see
There’s just the pavement left
And broken dreams

In the end there’s still that song
Comes crying like the wind
Down every lonely street
That’s ever been

Stella blue
Stella blue

I’ve stayed in every blue-light cheap hotel
Can’t win for trying.
Dust off those rusty strings just one more time
Gonna make them shine

It all rolls into one
And nothing comes for free
There’s nothing you can hold
For very long

And when you hear that song
Come crying like the wind
It seems like all this life
Was just a dream

Stella blue
Stella blue